Balance

Over the last few weeks I've been so busy that I've not even had enough time to fix the main system (whose drives are being fixed even as I speak). Life happens. In an unexpected twist, myself and my cousins have been helping to run the family business - Rampersad's General Electrical Engineering. And since I've the most free time amongst them, I've been doing the most - just a matter of availability, really, until one sees how much needs to be done. Will we end up running it permanently? Will one of us? No one knows, but what we do know is that there is much we all have to do. And I think it's fair to say that none of us really planned for this.

For me, the added responsibility has become more and more of a challenge. I'm behind on my own plans for aquaculture because I've become engrossed with 'the workshop'. I wonder, too, if once I learn enough about it that it will become a piece of my own past... when I can't learn anything more about something, I typically wander off to find something interesting to do.

And with all of that, I'm trying to find that happy balance where I can do everything - but there's a trouble with balance. Even a perfectly balanced machine can only handle so much load, and the same is true of any person. I wonder whether I am spreading myself too thin, whether I can cover all that I feel I need to. And if I cannot, I need to adapt to that as well.

And with all of that, what little personal time I've had has been for sleeping. It's gotten easier, but after all of these years I may finally be finding some of my own limits... or maybe my limits are coming down to meet me as I grow older.

Life is strange.