I remember the first time I saw the avocado tree bear avocados. I was about 9, and amazed that it grew on trees - I had only seen them at supermarkets. As far as I knew, they grew in boxes. In Trinidad, they are called pears - and they are pears - but they don't taste like the grainy fruit that are sold as pears. Very confusing for a young boy. Still, with some salt and hot roti, avocados are excellent.

That is the trouble with avocados.

When I was younger, Trinidad was different. No one came into yards and stole avocados as they do now. The tree, which last had fruit the same month my father died (August, 2005) is bearing again. I had trimmed it, and it has now recovered and flowered. It is a wonderful thing to see happen, but it comes with a responsibility that wasn't there before.

The joke is that 'the owner may come for their avocados'. I caught one, years ago, and assisted him out of the yard in a very legal sense, or so I would have you believe. But some years, the 'owner' gets them before I do. They pick them too early to beat me. So I stay up at nights and watch the tree, and they probably stay up at nights waiting for me to go to sleep early. Its a game we play, you see. The police do nothing, and even if they caught someone who picked the fruits the person would spend 3 months in jail, maximum. Meanwhile, at $10 TT an avocado, this tree can bring in $3,000.

So I look at the tree. I eye it. And I have grown to dislike this tree, as it is no longer a pleasure for me. I spend most of my time when it is bearing guarding it so I can have one of 300 or so, meanwhile giving the rest to friends.

Why? Why don't I just chop the tree down? This is what I wonder now, looking at it. Do I really want to have to guard this tree every night for the last few weeks so that the fruit come to fullness in a natural way? And if I am sick or tired one night and someone happens by to steal all the fruit, why do I have the tree?

And why don't these thieves plant their own trees?!

So the game starts. And after this year, I think the tree will come down. It is too much trouble. In its place, I will plant a different tree - one that doesn't attract cheap opportunists who can't even plant their own trees. Maybe I'll put up a sign, too - "No More Avocado Tree Because Of Thieves."

I'm just getting too old to have to chase off lazy people who can't earn their own living. And if I shot them over an avocado, I would be a bad person. Better to cut the tree down.