It comes in waves, people from the past and present telling me that I should 'settle down' - a way of saying that one should get married, have children and dedicated one's life to a family. It isn't a bad thing to do, settling down. But it can be a bad thing to do if one doesn't make the right choices in settling down.

I tend to meet those comments with some humor mixed with reason. Things like, "Do you have someone in mind? I'd need to take a test drive...", typically end the conversation in a way that is comfortable for me but less than comfortable for those that would have me believe that I should go out and aggressively find someone to marry. To quote a good friend, "No good can come from that!"

Marriage is a serious thing - divorce lawyers aside. It's a big commitment for two people which should be taken seriously, just as children should be. I can't comment much on society; I like to stand off and watch society from a safe distance. What I can comment on is that my life hasn't permitted me the stability to do a lot of things - and I am working on that. My life has brought me into contact with wonderful women, some who I openly adored and courted. There are no regrets, though I am certain that every woman has some choice things to say about me - perhaps good, perhaps bad. Even so, it quite simply hasn't happened. Forcing the issue won't make it happen, either - or in making it happen could make it happen in a way that simply wouldn't last.

One late Uncle who was deep in religion said that I had to get married - and when I asked him where that was written down in a religious text, he couldn't say anything. When a friend told me something similar, I told him that marriage may not happen for me - and he responded, "you must believe you have no value". No, but I have found women who valued me as they believed but not as I am. One Uncle went so far as to try to find me a wife, and when that was brought to my attention I furnished him with a list that was fashioned with a sense of humor that could only be explained away as that of someone comfortable with being the dirty old bachelor.

Meanwhile, I have nieces who have married, who have children - a great Uncle, I am, though a good Uncle I may not be. I do not let it bother me too much; we all have our lives to live and we tend to live them differently. I read books and think about things instead of gathering in crowds; I value solitude and silence.

Maybe one day I will settle down - but it is not something to be rushed, in my eyes. There is no fast food solution, there is no McMarriage that I am interested in. I am content with my life. Sharing it is not an issue; sharing it with the right people is. I wonder how many divorce lawyers would be unemployed if more people took this approach. And then again, how many people would get married in the first place? There is no true answer. We all must find our own answers. And that, you see, is the answer for settling down: My answer is my life, and if my life changes - so will my answer.

'Nuff said.