lost

If I stood outside of the Universe, it would probably look about the same size as other Universes, give or take the standard deviation.

Mental Note: Women are the first to tell someone that the person has gained weight. Yet it's the last thing a woman typically wants to hear.

Asked: "When did you get grey?"
Answered, concerned: "When was the last time you had your eyes tested?"

I always say that a person is as good as their choices. I have neglected to mention that a person's choices, at a certain point, are as good as the culmination of all their other choices. But that takes too long to explain.

When you dry out the The Grapes of Wrath, do you get The Raisins of Wrath? Do they taste good in bagels with cinnamon?

Religion without God is atheism. So where's God?

Said to a child misbehaving: "The Order of Twiddling Thumbs Does Not Approve." It's all in the delivery, you know... (There's something here I'm going to play with sometime).

Asked by a recent introduction about how to be a writer: "Eat lots of alphabet soup."

Is there a 'Chicken Soup for Authors of Chicken Soup Books'?

People buy exercise and diet books to keep their dusty exercise equipment from floating away.

Some people search for meaning. I wander around kicking the dust below and mumbling, "that's not it."

Some people find what they're looking for because they define what they are looking for by their search. The answer is defined by their question.

Some people get lost on the paths less traveled. But lost to whom? The 'lost' typically know exactly where they are...