direction

His thoughts turned to the old sea story of the young sailor that wandered around the base picking up pieces of paper, shaking his head and saying quietly, "That's not it." After months of scrutiny by Navy doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists and all the related poking and prodding, he was being given a medical discharge. At the Personnel Support Department (PSD), they had him sign the discharge paper. He picked it up and read it, then suddenly shouted, "That's It!" and signed it. As the sea story goes, one expects the now ex-sailor is living happily ever after without medication or therapy.

Of course, it's only a sea story - maybe there is truth to it, maybe not, but there is some humor in it. But when he thought of the story, he recalled how throughout his life he himself seemed to be wandering the globe, meeting new people and throughout the course of his life whispering, "That's not it." In fact, in the grand scheme of things he felt more defined by what wasn't for him than what was - and he had become increasingly jaded when it came to the implicit mental and emotional question, "Is this it?"